top of page
  • Writer's pictureHelen Cottee


One of the questions I ask clients as they are journeying through the reform process is 'What do you long for?'

Longings are a vital part of the process. 

This question tends to prompt some tears, some blank looks, or some push back.

Why? Because talking about the things we long for is hard.

Why? Because when we name our longings, we tend to delve into the murky waters of disappointment. 

The gap between our current experience and our longings is so easily filled with sadness and disappointment because we don't long for the things we have, we long for the things we don't have.

If we don't have the skills to handle our longings well, we simply stay with the feelings of lack and loss and this is what prompts the disappointment.

So this simple question of what we each long for can be a tough one - but I ask it ALL THE TIME. Not because I'm mean, but because it is so very important. It is important enough to go through the sadness to find something on the other side. 

Your longings are the indications of your unfulfilled dreams and your unlived life. 

Wow. Important stuff right? As one of my favorite authors writes 'The soul often speaks through longings'. Sue Monk Kidd.

So why are your longings a gift? Because they are the way your soul is speaking to you about the possibilities it wants you to search for in your future. It may not look the way you thought, or happen the way you expect... but being willing to journey to seek out that which you long for is the journey of 'becoming'. 

Of course, before you do that journey, it's important to be clear about what you long for. 

So I encourage you to take some time to answer that question 'What do you long for?' Start with the first thread that comes to you, then follow that thread - through journaling, or prayer or meditation or some other means - to see where it leads you. 

bottom of page